im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
