So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
