i think my tv is drunk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
