I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
