so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
