Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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