how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
