I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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