if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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