a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What a dumb baby whore.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
