I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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