haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
