Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
