Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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