YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
