so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
