My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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