"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
