omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
