Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
