no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
