She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
