Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
