my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
