Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
