you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
