Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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