oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
