the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
