I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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