that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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