I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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