What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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