So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
