ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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