he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
