Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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