how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
