Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
