Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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