My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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