I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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