That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
