you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
