This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
