She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize