I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
