I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
