i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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