Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
