the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
