you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
