New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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