i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
